WHO IS A WIFE?
There are many men out there, (and growing up with four brothers, plenty of male cousins and friends, i consider myself somewhat of an expert hehehehe) who find themselves bachelors in their late 30’s because there are no ‘good’ women out there, mainly because the women they have dated are not of ‘marriage material’ (according to their own analyses after the relationship has come to an end, not mine). There are also many women out there who seem to move from unsuccessful relationship to unsuccessful relationship, praying hard for ‘Mr Right’ but their prayers seem to go unanswered.
A conversation with a male colleague of mine (no names mentioned) brought this subject to my attention as i teased him of getting old and needing to get married soon as our mutual friend goes through the stresses of organising his wedding. It got me thinking…why do people, men and women alike, struggle to find Mr or Mrs Right and marry late? After all, the Bible says: ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord’– Proverbs 18:22
If i was the “He” in that scripture, i would be striving to obtain that favour, wouldn’t you? But hang on, does it mean that as long as a man marries any woman, he has found a good thing AND obtains favour from the Lord?
I think not.
So how does the ‘He” obtain favour? I think we need to look and who is a wife and what does it mean to be a wife? This might help my single bothers and girl friends out there still looking for their life partners.
DISCLAIMER: I am not married and i am therefore not an expert on this subject and probably have no right to advise people on marriage, but if you are reading this, something must have got your attention.
Lets us start our discovery of who or what a wife is by looking look at the famous and often quoted and misused to describe oneself ( I myself am guilty) Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31: (10-31).
It is interesting to note that the first word used to describe this woman is “wife” ‘An excellent wife who can find?’
We can safely say then that the virtuous woman being described here is a wife and the characteristics listed thereafter define what a wife, according to the bible is.
Another important thing to note about a wife is that “She is far more precious than jewels”. It should be noted that jewels are rare and hard to find and once found are treasured, jewels are of high value. If you are a woman, are you rare and hard to find? If you are a man, is the lady you are dating rare and hard to find, is she of high value and principals?
The scripture then goes on to describe how hard working a wife is (vs. 13-19); “She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings food from afar/ she rises whilst it is yet night and provides food for her household…with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard…”. Woman, are you hard working or are you waiting for Mr. Right to pay your rent and your bills and take care of you? Are you goal oriented? Man, does your lady friend have these qualities or do you have to send her talk time every other day?
A wife as described here also has a generous (giving) heart (vs. 20), she is not afraid, she is creative with her hands (vs. 22), she has an entrepreneurial mind (vs. 24), she is strong and carries herself with dignity (vs. 25) and she is wise and kind (vs. 26). Woman, can you say this about yourself? Man, is she all these things?
Finally, Proverbs 31:30 says “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”. This one i think is very important to the male readers. In as much as it is nice to have the prettiest, shapely woman on our side, that beauty is vain and those charms may be deceitful; look also on the inside, what are her virtues? Could this be why we do not find women who are “marriage material?” Ladies, what are we focusing on? Yes it is good to have pride in our appearance, but I’ve heard it said that an ugly personality overrules even the most beautiful of women. Are you praise- worthy?
And to all my friends getting married or already married;
Wives and Wives-to-Be: Ephesians 5:22-24
Husbands and Husbands-to-Be: Ephesians 5: 25-31
Together: Ephesians 5: 33
As for me, I’m a work in progress.