Getting Married in Zambia | Step 3: Kitchen Party – The Fashion

In Zambia, being invited to a KP is the perfect excuse to look good- its like a fashion show with models of all ages and sizes.
My day  was filled with so much colour and culture- starting with the decor, my outfit, the uniform chitenge worn in different patterns by the bride’s committee,  to the colourful outfits worn by the guests. 

Here are some looks from the KP:

image

My look, designed by Esnoko

image

Bride and Groom matching outfits by Esnoko

image

Some patterns by my ladies

image

I loved Nosizwe's bright pink heels

image

Jane's (LeSizzleCafe) unique top paired with a black skirt

image

Guests: My King's sisters

image

MOB (centre) stole the show!

That’s all folks!

Advertisements

Getting Married in Zambia | Step 3: Kitchen Party ( Part 2)

Traditionally, the groom is not meant to come to the KP (something to do with him only unveiling the Bride once, on the wedding day….i think, i could be wrong, its complicated). However, i silently insisted that my groom made an appearance. The role of the groom (or his representatives if he is not allowed to make an appearance) is to unveil the bride, who enters the event veiled in a chitenge (traditional wrapper/material) after the guests have arrived. It all gets a bit blurry here…so i won’t get myself in trouble by getting too much into it. The bride is unveiled, the bride and groom exchange gifts, then present gifts to their mothers and the groom leaves.
Did i mention that this event is strictly for women?  NO MEN ALLOWED!

image

Bride's entrance- escorted by family and friends

image

Waiting to be unveiled (it was sooo hot under there!)

image

The Unveiling

image

Presenting my gift to my King

image

Appreciating my Mother in Law (and Love)

image

Appreciating my Mother (yes, we cried)

Next on the agenda is the opening of gifts and each guest (in the case of gifts) is called up to explain to the bride their gift; what it is ànd how to use it; whilst monetary gifts are collected at the entrance (and guarded by the most trusted relative/friend)

image

Ready to receive wisdom (and gifts)

Example of gift presentation:
Wise Guest: Mwenya, this is a tea set. When your husband gets home from work, make him some tea to relax him and serve it in this nice set to show your appreciation for his hard work to provide for the family.
Bride: *nods and gentlty claps hands* (as a sign of gratitude for the wisdom)
NB. Bride does not speak,  her job is to soak in all the wisdom.

Finally, your favorite Aunt (or Aunt closest to you), shows the bride around the gift display put together by the MOB’s committee, explaining what each item is for and how to use it to care for your King, the head of your house.

I have to say, although i initially did not want  to  have this event, i am eternally glad i did. Despite the fact that i knew i had no choice but to have it; being my mum’s only daughter, i knew i couldn’t deprive her of the joy; it was a humbling experience and it taught me to appreciate my beautiful mother for all that she has done
for me and sacrificed for me not to lack anything, and more importantly, to become the woman and the wife i am today.

Love,
MrsD

Getting Married in Zambia | Step 3: Kitchen Party (Part 1)

It’s  been over a year since i had my Kitchen Party, which was on the 23rd of August, 2015.

What is a Kitchen Party you ask? It’s another opportunity for the bride to look beautiful of course!

image

Spot @LeSizzleCafe helping me get ready

image

Seriously though, going by my experience from my own Kitchen Party or “KP” as my mum and i call it, it’s another event that prepares the bride for marriage. 
Married women, most likey the brides family, the mother’s friends and her new family, come together to celebrate the brides upcoming marriage, as well as offer wisdom. More importantly, it is the mother of the brides “final goodbye” (figuratively of course) because her daughter is no longer her child, but has become a woman, responsible for her own home.

It’s not as morbid as it sounds.  It’s a celebration. Its a rite of passage. The best part? The gifts of course!

The reason for the theme of this party is because the guests bring different gifts, mainly for the kitchen,  to help the bride start her home- they don’t  say “the way to a mans heart is through his stomach” for nothing.
Gifts range from big items such a a stove and fridge to smaller items such as dinner sets, cutlery, a toaster and other appliances, cooking sticks, you name it. Traditionally (though I’m not quite sure where this particular “tradition” came from, i have an idea but can’t be bothered to get into that right now), the Brides family purchases the stove, whilst the grooms family purchase the fridge.

image

Bride's stage and committe gift display

Also, the MOB (Mother of the Bride) would have set up a committee of her closest friends prior to the event that help her not only plan the event, but also purchase some of the biggger items for her daughter- you can only imagine how expensive it can get! Then the rest is brought by the guests- who depending on the invitation will be asked to bring gifts only or money only  or both- the money option is normally to enable the bride to purchase fir herself what she wants for her kitchen as gifts can get repetitive. Alternatively, thd brude can set uo a registry. My invitation gave our guests an option of either gift or money and let’s just say i raised a considerable amount of money and i got a number of gorgeous dinner sets that i still don’t have space to store it all.

image

Invitations with Save The Date Bookmarks


image

Committee gifts on display

The bride will also have her committee of friends that put money together to gift her items to add to the display, as well as help in ensuring the event goes on without a hitch. This normally includes setting up the display, keeping the bride calm, welcoming guests and any thing that the MOB may require. The committee is identified by their uniform chitenge, check out my fabulous friends below

Continue reading

OOTD: Blue Skies and Tartan

It’s official Summer is here!

It’s  gotten so hot over the last couple of days and yesterday i really did not feel like getting out of the  house. All i wanted to do was sit on the couch, watch movies and eat my  second favorite summer treat – freezits! (Popular iced treat in Zambia). My all time favorite treat is cool watermelon.

So anyway, i have choir practice on Saturday afternoons so staying indoors was not an option. So what do you wear when you dont want to wear anything?

I decided to keep it simple with a plain white tee, stretchy tartan skirt and borrowed green sandals.

image

image

image

God blessed me with a change in weather – i ended up enjoying a cool breeze and some drops of rain and it totally changed my mood. Definitely  worth an afternoon of praising Him.

Don’t you just love it when God surprises you?

Outfit Deets
Tee: Pep
Skirt: Identity (SA)
Sandals: borrowed from a friend who got them from her sister  (i know right)
Hair: Custom made wig by Yam’s Collections at Arcades Mall

Interviews and Auditions

I started writing this moooonths ago but never got round to finishing it..but here goes…

I have spent the last couple of weeks of my life in a jittery state. I dont know about you but whenever i have something big happening, i get so nervous and my life becomes a series of sleepless nights and a running tummy (as if I’m on some kind of detox)- my final year exams were definitely  a time i would rather forget.

The last 2 weeks i have been preparing for job interviews and auditions.  There is nothing worse than putting yourself out there (in a vulnerable) position to be judged by people who know nothing about you – and it’s entirely up to you to impress them in 10 minutes or less. You can go through as many interview questions as possible, or rehearse the song you’re going to sing a thousand times,  but the outcome isn’t really up to you. You performance will be judged by those who have granted you this opportunity.

**************************************

My life back when i first started writing this felt like it was in limbo. The music ministry at my church was being refreshed and I needed a new job (and more money, that always helps). Simply put, i needed to be in a place where i would be given the opportunity to grow, to flourish, to be able to spread my wings. I was so unhappy in my previous job that waking up was a struggle. I had attended a couple of promising job interviews before, i had been told the job was mine but somehow i always found myself walking through the same doors.

I reached a point where i think i gave up and accepted my fate in a place that was making me unhappy. Till i got a call and i found myself preparing for an Interview and an Audition in the same week.

Was i ready for the biggest performances of my life?
Truth be told, i wasn’t. There’s only so much i could have done to prepare- this was one if the first times i totally relied on God- you know, when you say “let Your will be done in my life Lord”, only this time you really mean it.

**************************************

4 months down the line, i am in a new job with a new company that is encouraging me to grow, to flourish and to spread my wings and my ministry is back on track and i have been asked to be a part of its leadership (me, the girl that thought she couldn’t even sing).

It wasn’t an accident that i had an interview and an audition in the same week- God was up to something and He isn’t finished with me yet. Just like He isn’t finished with You. He has not forgotten about you- He knows what you are going through and He is up to something.

Love,
MrsD