Tangled Jewel

My mother loves buying me jewellery.  She loves jewellery and of course as her only daughter, it’s only normal that she expects me to love jewellery. I don’t love it but i don’t hate it either. I just like a simple, hassle-free life. On an ordinary day the most jewellery i have on is my wedding band  (but of course), a pair of earings (mind you sometimes it’s the same pair throughout the week) and a simple braclet that I’ve had for years with zirconia stones running around it (some of which have fallen off). So no, jewellery is really not my number one priority.

My mum loves buying me jewellery. She bought me 2 pairs of earings for my wedding (i only wore one), 2 bracelets (i only wore one) and two neckalces (i think i wore both (at seperate times of course) so at least i made an effort). I think my mum couldn’t decide which earings/bracelet/necklace to get me because each piece was beautiful. Or maybe it was because she knows how fussy i am so she needed to provide me with options- i dont know. All i know is that i love my mum and i want her to keep buying me jewellery.

Okay so now that i have established my indifference to jewellery i can continue…

On Tuesday i decided to wear a necklace to work. I dont know why but i did. I was going to wear a ‘salmon pink’ cardigan and I remembered i had a matching necklace. Now, as a person who is indifferent to jewellery you can imagine that i do not store my jewellery well so when i found the necklace i wanted to wear, it was tangled up with a bunch of other necklaces.

For some mysterious reason, i must have been very determined to wear this necklace because my normal reaction to the tangled mess would have been “Ah, forget this!”. However, despite the fact that i was running late for work i decided to sit on the bed and detangle the mess of about six or so necklaces just so that i could get wear that particular necklace. (maybe i was missing my mum).

If you have ever tried detangling a bunch of tangled necklaces you will know that it is not something you can rush through (lest you get them even more tangled). You have to work slowly and carefully, ensuring that you do not destroy the necklaces. You have to be patient.

So as i sat there slowly and carefully seperating my necklaces, it occured to me that this is exactly what God does with our lives. Each of us has a specific God-given purpose to fulfil, which He has placed inside of us. We are to discover what this purpose is but most times in our journey of life, as we are trying to discover what this purpose is we get tangled up. We get tangled up with looking for love in all the wrong places – with all the wrong people, getting hurt along the way, when all along the One who loved us first has always been there. We get tangled up living a life of lies, piling up debt and tossing away our self-esteem, trying to be people we are not because of the ‘perfect lives’ we see on the media (traditional and social media).

When we reach that place of being a tangled mess and the mess finally breaks us down to the realisation that all we really needed was God (duh!), what does He do? He gently picks us up and slowly and oh-so carefully begins to detangle us from the mess. He untangles us from self-loathing and frees us from low self-esteem. He untangles us from our fake lives and the people that are not meant to grow with us by showing us what we truly need to live a fulfilled life.  He untangles us from unrighteousness and sickness and pain and fills us wth love, joy and peace. He does not stop working on us and in us.

Its not an easy job and it’s not a job that can be rushed. Sometimes even during this process it looks like the tangled mess is worse than when He first began but worry not – He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Nothing is impossible for God- there is no mess He cannot fix.

A tangled jewel is still a jewel after all.

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Love,

MrsD

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Getting Married in Zambia | Step 4 | Get Me to the Church on Time!

It is is now 10 days to our 1st anniversary and i really, honestly can’t believe it has been a year already?!!. People say the first year (or couple of years) are the hardest because all the pretense  of dating and the excitement of planning a wedding have passed; its now just the two of you and there is no more pretending that you roll the toothpaste from the bottom when in fact you don’t.

Our first year was not easy, we laughed, we cried, we argued, we made up – nothing out of the ordinary (i think). It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it ( sorry, i couldn’t  resist that cliché).

As we celebrate our 1st year together, I’d  like to talk a walk down memory lane and wrap up my series on Getting Married in Zambia.

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The morning of the wedding day for the Bride and Groom in Zambia is filled with last minute to-do’s and phone calls (unless your bridesmaids confiscate your phone)- mostly because it is not yet common to hire a Wedding Planner or the Bride,  if they are anything like me think that only we can get things done PER-FEC-TLY

You are the first one to wake up,  and you make sure you have your bath first before waking up the entire household. Of course you are coming down with the flu after spending the night before decorating the church with your fiance (you are an event planner and decorator after all). So lemon and honey tea, Strepsils and a dry piece of bread is sufficient for your breakfast.

You are just in time for your hair appointment but the stylist cant seem to get it just like the one in the picture you got off Pinterest…you are happy with the end result because you know you were just being fussy but of course you are late for your make-up appointment  (and now you look back and wonder why you didnt ask the stylist to come home like you did the make-up artist *duh*). But its okay, your make-up turned out perfect. So did your mum’s,  even though she thinks it’s  too much; but that’s mum for you.

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The "it's too much make-up" face

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Its time to get your dress on- wait! Where are the bridesmaids?? (i think I should write romance comedy at the rate I’m going with this post- but i promise, it was that dramatic). The brisldesmaids are late (no electricity at the salon perhaps?) but they are finally here to help the bride get ready- oh and they look fabulous thanks to the brides being dictatorial on their entire look.

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Through out the ‘organised chaos’, dad is calm, reading the newspapers, having already done the seating arrangementsfor the reception.

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Lawyer's scribble

The moment of truth……does the dress fit???? Yes! It does. It’s perfect (please note that this is not always the case for Zambian brides) but its got tooo many darn buttons!!

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At this point, you say forget these 101 buttons, I’m  late! And off you go, to you handsome groom with half your buttons undone.

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Service should have started at 10.00am

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Vendor Information
Hair: Yami’s Collection Arcades Mall
Make-up: Embeauti Hair and Makeup Studio
Wedding Dress: Custom-made, LaceMarry Etsy Shop (Yes, i bought my dress online! I couldn’t  find any plus-size wedding dresses that suited my shape in Lusaka)
Bride’s  Shoes: Ebay
Hair Band: Brass Lotus Etsy Shop
Mother-of-the-Bride’s Dress: Online
Mother-of-the-Bride’s Shoes: Ebay

Before 30

Today i say goodbye to my 20’s and hello to my 30’s.

To be honest with you, i haven’t really been excited about my Birthday this year, which, trust me is really shocking for me. I am a big advocate for celebrating birthdays and making sure that a birthday is made special. My parents spoiled me with cake and presents each year, sometimes even a party just to make me feel special on the day. When i was in boarding school, my parents would either come visit me or send me some goodies on my birthday…so yes, i have been blessed (read spoilt) and birthdays are a big deal for me.

I haven’t  been excited about the big 3-0 and here is why….

I had so many plans/hopes/dreams that i  wanted to have achieved by this day. I thought by 30 i would have my first child. I also thought i would have my own house (with a big garden) in my name, instead of still paying rent. That my event business would be successful, with me owning my own exclusive venue. Finally, that i would have made strides in my career and probably at Executive level.

But the day is here and i haven’t achieved any of the things that i wanted to. But you know what? It’s okay.

It’s okay because even though i am not where i want to be, i am in a great place. And you know what, i have achieved a lot and i am truly blessed ( and I’m not just saying that).
I have a family and a husband that love me (the twins are still coming). I have a good job and a good income (and i will still be an Executive one day). I am very hopeful about my business and i am excited about the God given ideas for its expansion. Most importantly for me, i now know who God has called me to be; the calling He has placed over my life. I welcome the challenges and i am excited for the start of my ministry.

Yep, i did good.  But i couldn’t have done it without God looking out for me. I just want to take this moment and publicly declare my love for God. I am sooooo grateful for what He has done in bringing me this far, that i am alive today and i am thankful  for His PERFECT plan over my life- His time is best.  So i dedicate this day to praising Him and i dedicate this song by Pastor Donnie McClurkin to my Maker.

“Great is Your Mercy toward me
Your Love and Kindness toward me
Your tender Mercies i see
Day after day

Forever Faithful towards me
Always providing for me
Great is Your Mercy towards me
Great is Your Grace”

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Life is good @30

OOTD: Kinda Funky, Kinda Fresh

What do you wear when you are supposed to look sporty yet you cannot you cannot wear your gym gear to church? And you are rocking some funky braided up-do?

Leather. And sneakers.

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Outfit details:
Hair: Yami’s Collections, Arcades Mall Lusaka, Zambia
Tee: ‘Thiefted” from Hubby’s wardrobe  (but originally from Mr. Price)
Skirt: Dorothy Perkins
Sneakers: random sports store in Berlin

Special mentions:
MOA: Moi, as in me! I know right?
Photography: Selfie-stick (hubby has been replaced)

Ps: white ankle socks also thiefted from hubby – what’s his is mine kikikiki

Kinda funky, kinda fresh.

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Peace out.

LOTD: Bright, Bold & Beautiful

Its been a while since i posted up some my “outfits of the day” (OOTD) so here’s  a quick one.

I actually dreamt up this look…or maybe spent too much time on Pinterest before falling asleep  🙂 so i knew exactly what i wanted to wear today.

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Work Selfie

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Outfit Details
White  Mesh Top: Jet
Pink Jersey:  Mr Price
Purple Belt: Mr Price
Skirt: “Thrifted” (Fresh off the streets of Lusaka)
Yellow Pumps: Online

Oh and Hair by Nana using AfroKinky.

Be Bold, Be Beautiful.

Love,
Mrs. CurvyAfricanDiva

The Getting Married Diet

So, word has gotten around that I have been on a diet because I want to lose weight for the wedding…which is not the case as you should all know from  reading my posts…right? (It can’t just be my mum who follows me :-/)
Although….it wouldnt hurt to look extra hot (in a respectable way of course) as I say goodbye to singlehood and make a right turn onto marriage bliss highway.

After months of eating clean (in between several cheat meals days weeks months) , aerobics, boot camp and personal trainers, I have discovered the ‘getting married diet’, hereafter referred to as ‘The GMD’.

Now this diet isn’t for every Jim and Jane. In order to be on the GMD, one has to be about to tie the knot;  get married,  commit to one man (or woman, though the experts do not state whether this diet works for men getting married too) for the rest of one’s life.

The theory behind this special diet according to the experts (Zambian Aunties and elderly women from church) is simple; The stress from all the planning, running up, down and sideways, plus the family drama (as two very large families try to make sense of the other’s way of doing things) will ensure that you will not have time to feed yourself, let alone even think about feeding yourself-  the weight will just melt off of you! Brilliant!

Someone tell that to my body.

Darn it, im out of chocolate, please hold my chips.

Tiye Tiye For God’s Kingdom

‘Many of us tend to think “Everything I have is the Lord’s,  except my eating and exercise habits. Those are mine.” Or we think,  “My life is the Lord’s,  but my body belongs to me, and I can do with it whatever feels good”. But when we are the Lord’s,  our body has to be surrendered to Him just like everything else. Caring for our body is not something we can do successfully independent of God.

The motivation for what we do in the area of body care is very important. It will affect how successful we are. If we eat right and exercise merely to look great in our clothes,  it won’t be enough to sustain us as we get older. But if we eat right and engage in proper exercise for the purpose of being a more vital, healthy, energetic and useful servant of the Lord, this has eternal consequences and you are more likely to stick with it.’extracted from The Power of A Praying Woman, Chapter 23 by Stormie Omartian

I dont know about you but lately i have been struggling to keep up with my healthy habits. Maybe it is because i have achieved my goal to look good and feel better about myself,  so hey, i can take it easy right? Wrong.

The above extract from the book ‘The Power of a Praying Woman’ by Stormie Omartian (the chapter entitled ‘Lord, Heal Me, Help Me Care for My Body’) has given me the push i need to keep going and i hope it helps someone else out there too.

We all know that weight loss is positively linked to our level of confidence.   And all of us can testify that this health journey is no walk in the park, but have you ever wondered why?  Have you ever thought that maybe you are struggling because the enemy who comes to ‘steal, kill and destroy’ (John 10:10) is fighting you on this one because he knows the power and confidence your weight loss journey will build inside you for you to fulfil Gods purpose for your life, for His Kingdom?

Some of us may be struggling to win this battle, but instead of trying to do it in our own strength what we need to do is committ even this battle of our health journey to the Lord.

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Tiye Tiye for God’s Kingdom.