Getting Married in Zambia | Step 3: Kitchen Party – The Fashion

In Zambia, being invited to a KP is the perfect excuse to look good- its like a fashion show with models of all ages and sizes.
My day  was filled with so much colour and culture- starting with the decor, my outfit, the uniform chitenge worn in different patterns by the bride’s committee,  to the colourful outfits worn by the guests. 

Here are some looks from the KP:

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My look, designed by Esnoko

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Bride and Groom matching outfits by Esnoko

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Some patterns by my ladies

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I loved Nosizwe's bright pink heels

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Jane's (LeSizzleCafe) unique top paired with a black skirt

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Guests: My King's sisters

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MOB (centre) stole the show!

That’s all folks!

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Getting Married in Zambia | Step 3: Kitchen Party ( Part 2)

Traditionally, the groom is not meant to come to the KP (something to do with him only unveiling the Bride once, on the wedding day….i think, i could be wrong, its complicated). However, i silently insisted that my groom made an appearance. The role of the groom (or his representatives if he is not allowed to make an appearance) is to unveil the bride, who enters the event veiled in a chitenge (traditional wrapper/material) after the guests have arrived. It all gets a bit blurry here…so i won’t get myself in trouble by getting too much into it. The bride is unveiled, the bride and groom exchange gifts, then present gifts to their mothers and the groom leaves.
Did i mention that this event is strictly for women?  NO MEN ALLOWED!

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Bride's entrance- escorted by family and friends

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Waiting to be unveiled (it was sooo hot under there!)

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The Unveiling

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Presenting my gift to my King

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Appreciating my Mother in Law (and Love)

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Appreciating my Mother (yes, we cried)

Next on the agenda is the opening of gifts and each guest (in the case of gifts) is called up to explain to the bride their gift; what it is ànd how to use it; whilst monetary gifts are collected at the entrance (and guarded by the most trusted relative/friend)

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Ready to receive wisdom (and gifts)

Example of gift presentation:
Wise Guest: Mwenya, this is a tea set. When your husband gets home from work, make him some tea to relax him and serve it in this nice set to show your appreciation for his hard work to provide for the family.
Bride: *nods and gentlty claps hands* (as a sign of gratitude for the wisdom)
NB. Bride does not speak,  her job is to soak in all the wisdom.

Finally, your favorite Aunt (or Aunt closest to you), shows the bride around the gift display put together by the MOB’s committee, explaining what each item is for and how to use it to care for your King, the head of your house.

I have to say, although i initially did not want  to  have this event, i am eternally glad i did. Despite the fact that i knew i had no choice but to have it; being my mum’s only daughter, i knew i couldn’t deprive her of the joy; it was a humbling experience and it taught me to appreciate my beautiful mother for all that she has done
for me and sacrificed for me not to lack anything, and more importantly, to become the woman and the wife i am today.

Love,
MrsD

Getting Married in Zambia | Step 3: Kitchen Party (Part 1)

It’s  been over a year since i had my Kitchen Party, which was on the 23rd of August, 2015.

What is a Kitchen Party you ask? It’s another opportunity for the bride to look beautiful of course!

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Spot @LeSizzleCafe helping me get ready

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Seriously though, going by my experience from my own Kitchen Party or “KP” as my mum and i call it, it’s another event that prepares the bride for marriage. 
Married women, most likey the brides family, the mother’s friends and her new family, come together to celebrate the brides upcoming marriage, as well as offer wisdom. More importantly, it is the mother of the brides “final goodbye” (figuratively of course) because her daughter is no longer her child, but has become a woman, responsible for her own home.

It’s not as morbid as it sounds.  It’s a celebration. Its a rite of passage. The best part? The gifts of course!

The reason for the theme of this party is because the guests bring different gifts, mainly for the kitchen,  to help the bride start her home- they don’t  say “the way to a mans heart is through his stomach” for nothing.
Gifts range from big items such a a stove and fridge to smaller items such as dinner sets, cutlery, a toaster and other appliances, cooking sticks, you name it. Traditionally (though I’m not quite sure where this particular “tradition” came from, i have an idea but can’t be bothered to get into that right now), the Brides family purchases the stove, whilst the grooms family purchase the fridge.

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Bride's stage and committe gift display

Also, the MOB (Mother of the Bride) would have set up a committee of her closest friends prior to the event that help her not only plan the event, but also purchase some of the biggger items for her daughter- you can only imagine how expensive it can get! Then the rest is brought by the guests- who depending on the invitation will be asked to bring gifts only or money only  or both- the money option is normally to enable the bride to purchase fir herself what she wants for her kitchen as gifts can get repetitive. Alternatively, thd brude can set uo a registry. My invitation gave our guests an option of either gift or money and let’s just say i raised a considerable amount of money and i got a number of gorgeous dinner sets that i still don’t have space to store it all.

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Invitations with Save The Date Bookmarks


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Committee gifts on display

The bride will also have her committee of friends that put money together to gift her items to add to the display, as well as help in ensuring the event goes on without a hitch. This normally includes setting up the display, keeping the bride calm, welcoming guests and any thing that the MOB may require. The committee is identified by their uniform chitenge, check out my fabulous friends below

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Getting Married in Zambia | Step 2 (Ichilangamulilo)

Your dad and uncles have done their part and now it’s mum and your aunts time to shine at the ‘showing of the fire’.

This part of the getting married process is fun for the aunties but can be the source of nightmares for you for days to come. They gather around camp like fires (mbaulas or braziers; portable cooking stoves that use charcoal) the night before this event prepping vegetables and telling stories late in the night. You are taught a few things but retire early for a long sleepless night.  The aunties are up very early the next morning and the cooking begins. You on the other hand; wake up with a running tummy, having had nightmares about the “Big Pot”.

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Mother of the Bride

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The Drummers and the Aunties

Its time for you to come out of the room you have been sitting in for hours. Your hour of reckoning is upon you, its time to face the BIG POT. You are led by the aunties, hidden underneath a chitenge (traditional cloth of about 6m long) crawling to the BIG POT (this is where the scraped knees come in). There are drums playing and the aunties are happy, singing their traditional songs, money exchanges hands and you, the bride, are unveiled.

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About to be unveiled

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"Uku Kunkula" - a sign of respect/humility

The BIG POT isn’t as bad as you thought…its actually quite fun once you get the hang of it. Plus, seeing your friends having a go at it after you is entertaining. (The BIG POT is where the Nshima (Zambian staple dish made from maizemeal) is cooked, to go with all the other yummy traditional dishes that have been prepared).

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The Bride and THE BIG POT

The food has been cooked, the uncles have blessed it and off it goes, escorted by the drummers and singing aunties and friends, to be delivered to hunk of a man and his family.

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A multitude of pots

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Praying of the food. Prayer is everything

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Food being taken to the grooms family


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Food

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The friends that helped you get through it

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The uncles

The purpose of the Ichilanga Mulilo- Your hunk of a man hubby-to-be and his family have been introduced to the foods from your family; a gesture that they are now welcome to dine with your family during your courtship and into your marriage.

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Washing of the Grooms hands

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The groom being treated to a traditional drink

Events such as this, though perhaps intimidating, are quite valuable in moulding you into you future husbands help- mate.

Stay tuned for more ….

Photocredit: Maynarj

A Weekend in Lusaka

This Curvy African Diva had a busy weekend…

Saturday Morning: a day of pampering (Hair, Nails, Make-up) and photoshoot for my cousins Boutique/ Salon, Yami’s Collection (watch out for the ads out this weekend)
Saturday Afternoon: a friends Bridal Shower (a.k.a a Kitchen Party in Zambia)
Sunday Morning: Church (but of course) Sunday Afternoon: much needed sleep!!!
Sunday Evening: supporting a friend at a live performance of his album (J2, Till Dreams Do Us Part) at The Misty.

Phew! I could probably make it as a Real Housewife of Lusaka (cept I actually love my career…and I’m not married..yet!)… (note to self: I should actually start a series on my blog called Real Housewives of Lusaka featuring my married friends)

Here’s a snapshot of my weekend in pictures:

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Kitchen Party OOTD

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That guy ruined the shot!

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Sunday Evening, J2 unplugged

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Stepped outside just to show you my outfit

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My Date...but of course!

Stay fabulous!
Remember, Life is for living  John 10:10
🙂

Young Talent Shoutout: Abigail

Today’s post is a quick shout out to a young lady designer and also my friend’s young sister, Miss Abigail.

I first noticed her work on facebook,  when her sister posted some photos of some pieces she made and I just knew I had to have her do something for me.

I finally have  my first Abby Chitenge Designs skirt…check it out:

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Thank you Abby, I love it! Abby is based in Lusaka, Zambia and if you would like one for yourself be sure to message me and I will pass on her details.

Love,
Me 😉

His and Hers Chitenge

To celebrate Zambia’s 49th year of Independence, my church this Sunday had an all round Zambian theme, from the Pastors, to the Ushers, to Hospitality and even Proclaim (our Praise and Worship team)  so boy was I excited! And why not? Any opportunity to rock an Afrochic Chitenge outfit is something worth smiling about but ad to that the opportunity to dress my future husband to be in a chitenge outfit, now that’s definitely worth a post.

I have been trying to get Matthew into a chitenge outfit for as long as I have been chitenge obsessed.  I have had several ties made for him, which he has never worn  (and has probably “misplaced”) but with him leading Praise and Worship on Sunday and having no choice but to lead by example, you best believe I took my opportunity and ran with it and got us matching outfits (corny I know….aaah the joys of being in love ♥♥♡♥♡)

Here’s our final look (nevermind his tortured look, I know he secretly loved it, its only cause it was hot and the material was extra waxxy…that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it)

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Until next time my love hehehehehe 🙂

Love,
CurvyAfricanDiva and Partner