Tangled Jewel

My mother loves buying me jewellery.  She loves jewellery and of course as her only daughter, it’s only normal that she expects me to love jewellery. I don’t love it but i don’t hate it either. I just like a simple, hassle-free life. On an ordinary day the most jewellery i have on is my wedding band  (but of course), a pair of earings (mind you sometimes it’s the same pair throughout the week) and a simple braclet that I’ve had for years with zirconia stones running around it (some of which have fallen off). So no, jewellery is really not my number one priority.

My mum loves buying me jewellery. She bought me 2 pairs of earings for my wedding (i only wore one), 2 bracelets (i only wore one) and two neckalces (i think i wore both (at seperate times of course) so at least i made an effort). I think my mum couldn’t decide which earings/bracelet/necklace to get me because each piece was beautiful. Or maybe it was because she knows how fussy i am so she needed to provide me with options- i dont know. All i know is that i love my mum and i want her to keep buying me jewellery.

Okay so now that i have established my indifference to jewellery i can continue…

On Tuesday i decided to wear a necklace to work. I dont know why but i did. I was going to wear a ‘salmon pink’ cardigan and I remembered i had a matching necklace. Now, as a person who is indifferent to jewellery you can imagine that i do not store my jewellery well so when i found the necklace i wanted to wear, it was tangled up with a bunch of other necklaces.

For some mysterious reason, i must have been very determined to wear this necklace because my normal reaction to the tangled mess would have been “Ah, forget this!”. However, despite the fact that i was running late for work i decided to sit on the bed and detangle the mess of about six or so necklaces just so that i could get wear that particular necklace. (maybe i was missing my mum).

If you have ever tried detangling a bunch of tangled necklaces you will know that it is not something you can rush through (lest you get them even more tangled). You have to work slowly and carefully, ensuring that you do not destroy the necklaces. You have to be patient.

So as i sat there slowly and carefully seperating my necklaces, it occured to me that this is exactly what God does with our lives. Each of us has a specific God-given purpose to fulfil, which He has placed inside of us. We are to discover what this purpose is but most times in our journey of life, as we are trying to discover what this purpose is we get tangled up. We get tangled up with looking for love in all the wrong places – with all the wrong people, getting hurt along the way, when all along the One who loved us first has always been there. We get tangled up living a life of lies, piling up debt and tossing away our self-esteem, trying to be people we are not because of the ‘perfect lives’ we see on the media (traditional and social media).

When we reach that place of being a tangled mess and the mess finally breaks us down to the realisation that all we really needed was God (duh!), what does He do? He gently picks us up and slowly and oh-so carefully begins to detangle us from the mess. He untangles us from self-loathing and frees us from low self-esteem. He untangles us from our fake lives and the people that are not meant to grow with us by showing us what we truly need to live a fulfilled life.  He untangles us from unrighteousness and sickness and pain and fills us wth love, joy and peace. He does not stop working on us and in us.

Its not an easy job and it’s not a job that can be rushed. Sometimes even during this process it looks like the tangled mess is worse than when He first began but worry not – He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Nothing is impossible for God- there is no mess He cannot fix.

A tangled jewel is still a jewel after all.

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Love,

MrsD

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Getting Married in Zambia| Step 4| Who Gives This Woman Away?

So…where were we?

Oh. Yes, you are rushing to the church because your groom is waiting and the driver seems to be taking his own sweet time (even though you are literally a 6 minute drive away). Its just you, dad and the driver. There is no music playing and not much conversation (you and your dad don’t exactly know what to say to each other). You can see the church when you remember that you forgot the Salt for the Salt ceremony! To go back or not to go back? If you go back, your groom might think that you are a Runaway Bride so you stay. Besides, if you forgot the salt, he definitely did (he did).

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It hasn’t really sunk in that the day that you have cried and prayed and fasted over is finally here. Not that you doubted God’s Word; the vision He showed you of yourself in a Wedding Dress in front of the ‘2014 Year of Going Beyond Limits’ at the 2013/2014 Cross-Over Service. You knew He would do it, you just didn’t know how hard getting to this point would be (bringing two families is not easy, add to that the fact that the devil hates anything that’s good).

You only know that it’s really happening when you hear Nathan Nyirenda playing the intro to The One He Kept For Me by Maurette Brown Clark on his Saxophone.  When you hear the the singer capturing the emotion of this song that perfectly captures what this day is about, you can’t  help but break down.

You are reminded that “God is not human that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?”- Numbers 23: 19

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Pastor: Who gives this woman away?

The moment of truth has arrived. Your father (or Uncle or male guardian) in a bold, strong voice announces “I, ………… the Father of the Bride, i give her away” (insert respective name of Father/Uncle/Male Guardian here). Your groom walks over, greets the parent that is giving you away, takes your hand and walks you to the altar.

Now most people do not know that significance of this “giving away” which has become a formality of so many marriage ceremonies. Genesis 2: 24 says “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become on flesh”. The man, your groom has left his parents home to become united with you, the bride. As a bride, you do not leave of your own accord, you have to be given away by the head of the house (your father/uncle/guardian) to the new head, your husband. The significance of this moment should not pass you by- be given away with the grace and humility it deserves.

This is your first act of submission.

         

Before 30

Today i say goodbye to my 20’s and hello to my 30’s.

To be honest with you, i haven’t really been excited about my Birthday this year, which, trust me is really shocking for me. I am a big advocate for celebrating birthdays and making sure that a birthday is made special. My parents spoiled me with cake and presents each year, sometimes even a party just to make me feel special on the day. When i was in boarding school, my parents would either come visit me or send me some goodies on my birthday…so yes, i have been blessed (read spoilt) and birthdays are a big deal for me.

I haven’t  been excited about the big 3-0 and here is why….

I had so many plans/hopes/dreams that i  wanted to have achieved by this day. I thought by 30 i would have my first child. I also thought i would have my own house (with a big garden) in my name, instead of still paying rent. That my event business would be successful, with me owning my own exclusive venue. Finally, that i would have made strides in my career and probably at Executive level.

But the day is here and i haven’t achieved any of the things that i wanted to. But you know what? It’s okay.

It’s okay because even though i am not where i want to be, i am in a great place. And you know what, i have achieved a lot and i am truly blessed ( and I’m not just saying that).
I have a family and a husband that love me (the twins are still coming). I have a good job and a good income (and i will still be an Executive one day). I am very hopeful about my business and i am excited about the God given ideas for its expansion. Most importantly for me, i now know who God has called me to be; the calling He has placed over my life. I welcome the challenges and i am excited for the start of my ministry.

Yep, i did good.  But i couldn’t have done it without God looking out for me. I just want to take this moment and publicly declare my love for God. I am sooooo grateful for what He has done in bringing me this far, that i am alive today and i am thankful  for His PERFECT plan over my life- His time is best.  So i dedicate this day to praising Him and i dedicate this song by Pastor Donnie McClurkin to my Maker.

“Great is Your Mercy toward me
Your Love and Kindness toward me
Your tender Mercies i see
Day after day

Forever Faithful towards me
Always providing for me
Great is Your Mercy towards me
Great is Your Grace”

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Life is good @30

Why I Sing

I have never been good at expressing myself. Perhaps it’s because i grew up being the only girl in a house full of boys. ..well having two older brothers was like having six.  I thought i had to be as loud as them in order to be noticed, not that I knew it then of course.

I preferred to  be lost in the magical world that an author’s imagination could take me to. But i never got to express myself. I know that sounds sad but i had a happy childhood. I was a loud, talkative little girl that just hadn’t found  her voice yet, pretending to be someone that maybe she really wasn’t (that sounds really deep for a little  girl).

I discovered that i loved to sing. I loved the way it made me feel.  I loved that i was finally able to express what was on my heart. I loved that i didn’t have to pretend to be someone else, that when i sang my family could finally see me. Singing showed me that there was something deep inside of me that needed to get out.

I am a young Christian woman and i still sing today. I still sing today because it remains an honest and pure way to express myself, for my own sake as well as to express what God has placed inside of me. The thing with singing (and i am talking about worshipping God) from the heart is that you can’t hide from the truth. You can try and hide from it for a while ,  or you can try and fight it but thats a losing battle.

When God places ‘ a song’ inside of you, ,it’s for a purpose. It’s not for that song to just sit idle inside of you. Its to save a generation, to draw the lost, to heal the broken.
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I have been hiding, i have been fighting, i have been holding back. But i am ready. Its time to let my song out.

I’m ready.